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American Tour Synopsis pt. 2

6/16  City Fair: Kansas City, MO-
Flew from Los Angeles to K.C. after doing our video and I got on the plane with a godammn throat infection. Well my ears never popped on the descent into Kansas City and I couldn't hear too much for a couple  weeks. had to go to a doctor, who told me that my hearing is that of your average  65 year old person.... said i should start wearing ear plugs onstage but i set him  straight and told him that was for fags. standing onstage playing, felt like I was  listening to the band from the bottom of a swimming pool. great gig tho and a cool  venue outside in the middle of an open air market. 
6/17  The Ranch Bowl: Omaha NE-
This gig was in a bowling alley bar...not the  nicest place we ever played but for some reason it was one of the better gigs  we've played. I don't remember too much more other than it kicked ass.
6/18  Ogden Theater: Denver CO-
probably the rowdiest crowd we've ever  played to, and that's the truth. this shit was out of control. 'N Sync were staying  at our hotel and there were little girls camped out in front of the place for the  whole 3 days we were there. I think our lighting guy fucked one of them in the ass.
6/19  Ogden Theater: Denver CO-
I think this was a good gig too, but I'm pretty  sure the first night was better. We played different tunes both nights anyway.  Played golf with Jkeats and took his money.
6/22  Vogue Theater: Vancouver BC, CAN-
A pretty big show for us...sold out way in advance. I think we played pretty well...can't be sure though. Drank too  much, etc.
6/23 and 6/24  Showbox: Seattle-
We played Seattle on the night that Experience  Music Project thing that that computer guy opened, or something. These shows  ruled....2 sold out nights.....we got very dark in this town. There were great shows  happening all over this city to celebrate the opening of the museum. i enjoyed the  hell out of both of these shows.
6/25  Crystal Ballroom: Portland OR-
this was a really interesting venue and a  great show. i guess they finally closed down La Luna, but we should've played 2  nights.  i love the northwest.
6/27  Warfield Theatre: San Francisco CA-
had a great stay in san francisco,  got to jam with my friend jon weiss and bill, the old bass player from faith no  more on our night off. mick preston, our roadie, saved a little girl's life at our  hotel when she fell into the pool and sunk to the bottom while her mom was  drunk -not paying attention. it was like 50 degrees outside and he saw this kid  wander over the side into the pool, jumped in with all his clothes and boots on.  the hotel replaced his cell phone and all his shit...pretty heroic stuff for a dirty  douchebag like mick. as far as the show goes, the warfield is a great venue and  they treat us well every time. that being said, this show never really seemed to  click. maybe our expectations were really high or something but i came away  from this one pretty frustrated. what i'm really trying to say is that i thought we  sucked.
6/29  the Palace: Los Angeles CA-
got to go see a dodgers game, what a  beautiful stadium...makes veterans stadium look like the toilet that it really is.  jim leyritz hit a pinch hit 2 out double in the bottom of the ninth to win the  game, pretty exciting. the south park guys opened this show for us with their  band DVDA and they ruled. "Everybody Loves Crack" was my personal  favorite. Also, the Queens of the Stone Age guys were all there so we had  a nice reunion with our old touring buddies. The gig was good but short  because of a dance night curfew, a problem that we seem to encounter a  little too often. 
6/30  the Glass House, Pomona, CA-
earlier in this day we played a drunken  punk rock set at Benway Records in Venice....lotta weird tunes we haven't played in a long time but it was a total blast. amazingly enough, we recovered in time to  have an awesome show out in Pomona. The venue was really strange, no alcohol  or smoking on the premises, very un-rock and roll. I have no idea why the best  gigs occur in these strange places, but that's the way it seems to work. overall,  one of the best days of music on the whole tour.
7/1    House of Blues, Las Vegas NV
This was a really fun show, altho i'd  like to play somewhere a little scummier next time. the best sounding stage  monitors i've ever heard in my life. after this gig i lost 400 bucks playing  blackjack before i managed to win it all back plus an additional 200 bucks  at around 4 am...took the whole damn night though. Saw Hoover Dam while  driving to the next gig....i was all kinds of fucked up at the time though.
7/2   Alice Cooperstown, Phoenix AZ-
a sweltering hot gig....i thought i was gonna  melt....i'm ready to play somewhere else next time....this is basically a sports  bar with Alice Cooper's name on it; you play outside in the courtyard. All the  employees wear Alice Cooper eye makeup....gay. don't get me wrong, they  were nice to us and all...but whatever.
7/3   Sunshine Theater, Albuquerque NM-
Got to hang out with my close friend and  partner Dickie Moist (Guy Heller) who's band  "The Voodoo Junkies" opened up  the show with a great set. Last year when we played here we had the famous  lactating girl incident...that didn't happen this time but it was still a really rowdy  show. Everything went smoothly. 
7/5   Will Rogers Center, Oklahoma City, OK-
Had 2 days off here, for the  4th of July. someone gave me a bunch of quaaludes...not exactly the most  social drug. 3 of us ate them....one of us woke up in the garden in front of  the hotel surrounded by security.....i peed on the air conditioner in the hotel  room thinking it was the toilet....and the other guy smartly passed out in  private. watched the fireworks from the roofside pool at the hotel under the  close eye of some hotel security dick who kinda sensed something bad about  to happen. i wanted to write "Used Ass Towels" on the hamper that said "Used  Towels" by the pool...spent way too much time trying to figure out how to do  it without this guy seeing it.  At the time it seemed hillarious.  the show the  next day was a lot of fun......went back with some kids to a house party and  deejayed for a while with our tour buddy johnny.
7/6   Gypsy Tea Room: Dallas TX-
Texas usually means trouble...and this was  no exception. had a great sold out sweltering gig...i like this venue more than the  places we usually play. got horribly, heinously drunk (yawn) and followed our  dallas friends to a small after hours "club." the rest is a haze.....i think we had  fun....austin was hanging overhead though.
7/7 and 7/8  Stubbs: Austin TX-
what can you say, this is the coolest venue in  the world, with the coolest staff, in one of the best music towns in the world. we  played to almost 5,000 people over 2 nights, pretty much double the amount of  people we can draw in any other city. the shows were a blast, there were girls all  over the stage, and people were overly generous in giving us their drugs. if we  ever make another live record it will almost definitely be recorded at stubb's.  these few days were capped off by us getting to meet and hang out with curt  kirkwood of the meat puppets, one of my all time favorite guitarists. 
7/10  House of Blues: New Orleans LA-
sin city.......i always love to go to this  town, although if i were smart i'd probably never go back......we've made a lot of  friends in new orleans.....i think that's part of the problem. there's something  magical about this city, if you've ever been there then you know what i'm talking  about.  the gig was great.....i think.
7/12  5 Pts South Music Hall, Birmingham AL-
blame new orleans, blame me, i  don't know, we got pretty drunk on tequilla before ever playing a note.....i think we  probably sucked but i'm not sure.
7/14  Cow Haus, Tallahassee, FL-
shit haus
7/15  Jannus Landing: St. Petersburg FL-
i love this place...it's a cool outdoor  venue in a weird sorta courtyard. last year it rained buckets during our gig,  but this time the weather held on for us. went swimming in the gulf at like 5am  with a bunch of friends while a bunch of freaks partied in my hotel room. the  gig was one of my faves, helped by the beautiful girls dancing onstage. this  was one of the better shows for sure.
7/16  Hard Rock Live: Orlando FL-
i figured that his show was either gonna rule  or totally blow after seeing the venue and where it was. it's shaped like the roman  colloseum and it's inside universal city in orlando, which is exactly like playing in  disneyworld. the stage was a half mile long and they gave aaron a wireless  microphone, which ended up being a key part of this show's success. this was a  blast....one of the illest shows in one of the most conservative environments.  we played a really long "lmlyp" and most of the audience was onstage for the  duration.  afterwards, they took us up to the special "john lennon room" and  "beatles" room and showed us their private collection of beatles shit, including  one of john's white pianos. pretty godammn cool.
7/17  the Chili Pepper: Ft. Lauderdale FL-
aaron got too drunk to.....walk...but  somehow managed to channel it all into something gloriously horrible for our  "concert". i'd apologize for the 50 minute "poopship destroyer" but somehow i  think you deserve it for living in ft. lauderdale. 
7/19  40 Watt Club: Athens GA-
we've been playing this club for years and  always have a good time. hotter than a motherfucker in this place.....can't think  of much more....a good show.
7/20   Moose's: Knoxville, TN-
ate a lot of chicken wings before and after this show ....jay dubbya came onstage and sang "war pigs" which kinda dwarfed everything  else we played this night.
7/21   Metropol: Pittsburgh, PA-
after months of  hard touring we thought we'd  reward ourselves by finishing the tour in knoxville and pittsburgh...jesus. show  got cut short because of gay dance night or something. next time we go to  pittsburgh we should book the gig into a urinal at the bus station, which would  be a step up.
7/23  Wellfleet Beachcomber, Cape Cod MA-
i got us this gig through an  e-mail from the guy who books the club...so i guess the internet is good for  something after all. this was basically our "end of tour party" and we had a  blast playing this small beach bar out on the cape. i went to take a leak  behind the club during our set and 3 skunks started running circles around  my feet...in all the excitement i stepped in a puddle of dave dreiwitz's  piss in my bare feet. i was too drunk to care anyway. a good time for  sure, i'd play there again anyday.
Japan/Europe Tour Synopsis
8/5 Osaka/Summersonic Festival: Osaka Japan (Stage 2)
A whole day of traveling to get to Japan, only to play for 50 minutes in front of a crowd of about 900. the rest split to watch WEEZER on the main stage. After the show we had to drive all night to get to Mt.  Fuji to play for another 45 minutes. 
8/6  Fuji/Summersonic Festival: Osaka Japan (Stage 2)
This festival was at the base of Mt. Fuji, maybe one of the prettiest venues in the world. Of course the second stage was in a gymnasium, with about 900 people there. The other 30,000 people were watching  WEEZER on the main stage. I guess we'll have to wait to conquer Japan. Our attempts to find some Geisha girls to shave our nuts never panned  out either.
8/18  Bizarre Festival: Dutch Border-Germany (Main Stage)
A pretty good festival featuring Beck, Foo Fighters, and others. It was  professionally filmed for German t.v. and we actually played really well.
8/19  Highfields Festival: Erfurt-East Germany (Main Stage)
This show was in the former East Germany alongside a lake. Got to see the new Rollins Band who were one of the best bands I've seen all year. These festival setlists were about 50 minutes, not enough time for us to suck or kick ass...we played pretty well tho, i hope.
8/20  Hamburg Trabrennbahn Festival: Germany (Stage 2)
I think this was the one at a racetrack, they all sorta blend together. The festival experience kinda blows, and after 3 days we had seen enough. Little porta-johns, lousy food, muddy fields, no soundcheck, shitty music on 4 or 5 stages simultaneously, nothin to do but drink yourself into a coma. I wouldn't care if we ever played these shits again. Unfortunately, this night marked the birth of a really brown situation. While driving from this festival to Berlin, the 12 cd changer in our tourbus broke while loaded with our discs. Our bus was a British made piece of crap, which deserved to be burned to  the ground. Claude, in a an alcohol induced moment of clarity, decided that he was getting the discs back at any cost. so with the help of his swiss army  knife, he dismantled the stereo, leaving a pile of broken plastic and simulated walnut grain vinyl on the floor of the bus. Our bus driver (who shall remain nameless) took this a little too personally. This kinda thing happens a lot on tour and is usually resolved by the band paying for whatever damage they've  done. Not this time though, as you will see by reading on. 
8/22  Berlin Arena (with Foo Fighters)
The "Berlin Arena", sounds really nice doesn't it? It was an empty hangar,  (or warehouse) with big puddles of water on the floor. Probably could hold 12,000 people. As you can imagine, it sounded like shit, the Foo Fighters fans hated us, and we really didn't give a flying fuck. Someone smashed out the tail light lenses on our bus, and despite our denials, our bus driver seemed  absolutely positive that it had to be one of us who did this. All communication between band and driver ceased after Berlin, except when Aaron would address him..... in a poor British accent. On top of all this, Paul Monahan dislocated his knee while loading out. All the doctors gave him were muscle relaxers, much to my disapointment...I ate them anyway, but they didn't do shit.
8/23  Malmo, Sweden/KB Club
This is such a beautiful place. All the women are blonde and perfect, and all the men were strong healthy aryan specimens. After 7 months of touring, our ragged, sorry ass collection of jews, negroes, and white trash, alcoholic,  drug addicts came limping into this place on our broken-ass bus. 70 people  showed up for the gig and we kicked their ass all over the place for 3 hours.  Next up was a 24 hour drive back to England to play the esteemed Reading  Festival, which would be headlined by OASIS. Here's where it gets really  chocolatey.
8/25  Reading Festival: UK (Stage 2 Marquee)
24 hours on a bus sucks, no matter what your final destination. When you're  going to England, on a bus with no music, with a driver who hates you, to a  festival packed to the gills with shitty bands, with diesel fumes blowing out  of the vents into your bunk,it can have a devastating effect on the morale  of a tour. We had just taken the ferry from Belgium back over to Dover,  England and we had about 3 and a half hours to get to our hotel in Redhill  where we would rest before the Reading Festival. I had eaten a bunch of  some girl's menstrual cramp medicine with a lot of vodka and passed out in  the upstairs lounge in front of the tv watching "Men in Black" when the bus  suddenly stopped on the side of the road. Our driver had seen enough  of Ween apparently, and called the police on his cell phone to meet him  at a pre-determined location. He came into the back of the bus and the  dialogue went something like this. "The police are here,get your shit and  get the fuck off me bus....." The cocksucker had called the police and left us on the side of the road. In retrospect, this was probably a  smart move on his part for 2 reasons. 1) where I come from, this is  justifiable cause for a complete beatdown, and the police probably saved  his life...and 2) we were seriously considering setting the bus on fire at  the end of the "tour." Fortunately, the hotel was only a short distance  away, and it was agreed between the police, driver, and Paulie (our tour  manager) that the driver would drive our equipment to a rest area and  wait for a new bus company to come get our shit. Dave Dreiwitz  took pictures of this whole fiasco, I'll try and post them soon. Our new  bus driver was named Uncle Mattie and he was about 7 feet tall. We  got along great, altho this bus wasn't allowed to pull a trailer, which forced us to finish the tour with the equipment on the bus...in the  aisles. Oh yeah, the Reading Festival sucked balls, and our new bus  broke down 10 miles outside the festival on the first day. The poopship  was now in full effect, with it's coordinates firmly locked on any unfortunate motherfucker who would cross our path.
8/26  Pukklepop: Belgium (Stage 2)
Nice festival, too bad we sucked. I'm into the word Puklepop though.
8/27  Lowlands: Amsterdam (Golf Stage)
Sometime in the night, the bus arrived at our hotel in the middle of nowhere  in Holland. Unbeknownst to me, there weren't enough rooms for all of us,  and I was passed out in my bunk. Not wanting to wake me up (because  there wasn't a room for me anyhow) Paulie decided to let me stay asleep  on the bus. I woke up at like 4:30 am and decided to check into my room.  The front desk receptionist didn't have a key for me, didn't speak English,  and all I wanted at this point was a bed and a shower. I found an open door  to a room where someone had checked out and passed out there. Well, Paulie   never checked my bunk the next day and left without me for the festival. I  woke up in Dunkelmoidel, Holland (or some such shit) and the bus was gone.  I had no money, no clothes, and no information about where I was supposed  to be. So I sat in the lobby until those bastards got to the gig and realized they  had left me somewhere. Eventually someone came back for me and we played  probably the best festival set we've ever done for about 15,000 appreciative  fans. It was totally fueled by frustration and hatred. You can listen to some of  this gig by clicking here.
8/28  Leeds Festival: UK (Stage 2)
The Leeds festival is basically the same as the Reading Festival, just in a  different muddy field in the North of England. Saw the awesome American  punk band AMEN, who kicked everyone's ass on this day. Their singer,  who was a really sweet guy, had a broken ankle and was kind enough to  give me some Percocet which made me feel a lot better for a couple of hours.
8/30  Amsterdam: Paradiso
Our triumphant return to Amsterdam, this show was sold out in advance  and really went off well. Great, rowdy audience, which is uncommon in  Holland, although I felt like at least half the crowd were Americans. I  finally went to the Van Gogh museum, after 15 visits to this city. Did all the usual misbehaving which is expected on a  visit to this town.
8/31  Wiesen Festival, Austria
It's a long fucking drive from Amsterdam to Austria with no days off.  We were 6 hrs.late and arrived just in time to set up our shit and play... between the Deftones and Blink 182. Needless to say, the crowd hated  us...and it took about 2 minutes into our set for me to get hit with the first  beer can. This trend continued for the duration of our performance and  climaxed with me getting hit in the face with a full cup of liquid during "The Blarney Stone." At first I thought it was human piss, but it was cold  enough where I realized that it was probably just beer. You assholes  can suck my New Jersey dick.
9/1   Winterthur City Festival, Switzerland
A storybook little town in Switzerland, this festival was in the street. it  was pretty enough to be on a postcard. There were only 3 bands, us,  Boss Hog, and a local band. This was a lot of fun, and reminded me a  lot of what I used to like about touring Europe. 
9/2 Munich: Elserhalle
A really nice, new club that provided us with some of the best food we  had on this tour. I asked the promoter if he could get me any painkillers  and he went out and bought me a bottle of Aspirin. Other than that, it  was a great gig.
9/5   Stuttgart: Longhorn
We had 2 days off in Stuttgart. Not Paris, not Switzerland, Stuttgart. Mick  Preston and I wanted to take the train into town to shoot some pool, but  the bitch at the front desk gave us bullshit instructions, so instead we took  the train North into the middle of Germany. The cab ride back cost us 90 marks. As an experiment, (and out of laziness)  I recycled our setlist from Pomona, California for this show and it ruled a  second time.
9/6   Paris: La Bulle Noir
For some reason, we have only played in Paris one other time, opening  for NoMeansNo back in 1990. This small club was sold out and we played  one of our best gigs of the year. Hopefully it won't take 10 years for us to  come back to France. Met Emanuel, the dude who publishes "Weenbeat"  fanzine, a magazine dedicated to us. We missed the fuel strike by 10  hours, enough time for us to get the hell out of France. Back to jolly old England to finish this hellish tour.
9/7 London: Astoria
The British press have never had a kind word to say about Ween. For  some reason tho, White Pepper has been different. Our gig was sold  out in advance, like 2,250 people who gave it up 100 percent for us.  I got hit in the face with ice on the first tune, and beer  cans rained down on us throughout the whole show. Apparently, this  has replaced "gobbing" as an act of appreciation by the British audience.  Hopefully next time we come to England we'll have our shit cannons in  working order so we can return your gratitude. Catch the vapors, I'm going home.